Rules of the Road in Reading Recommendations

How's that for alliteration?

As weeks go, another week of concentrated reading time hasn't been bad. I'm tempted to say that I've not accomplished much, but if my goal of the summer is to read down my stack of books, I'm actually doing well. I've completed almost a book a day since Mount Ida let out, although, to be fair, I wasn't always on Page one of the books I was reading.

I thought of being what I considered "responsible." My reading was preferenced with library books and then books others got me because they felt these books would change my life.

I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I don't think many people really have a clue what I'm about. And I'm not sure a lot of people I know know what recommending books is about.

I have a lot of friends who are very smart and very literary, but recommending books is a lot like matchmaking people,and it often goes about as well. Sometimes the ass or the boobs ARE enough to hide a multitude of sins, but if you are looking to create lasting, meaningful relationships, you have to do more than pick any two people at random and slam them together on the grounds that "they both know me and like me."

I should say that I do inhale books, and when you inhale books, you eventually have to spread out your topics and fertilize more than one section of your brain. I do that with aplomb. When I'm reading, I constantly make connection between the books that I read and the people that I know. I take recommending reading to people seriously because I genuinely think that people who like to read enjoy life in a myriad of ways that others do not. That said, I have a lot of friends who have never gotten a reading recommendation from me because I haven't met their soulmate yet.

I should say that I tell every person I talk to what I'm reading. I tell them what I am thinking about it, and it's usually positive because I toss more books out from lack of interest than many people read in a lifetime. Hundreds of thousands of books are published every year. There is something for you and something for me, and life is too short to read Moby Dick because you think you owe it to yourself or anyone else.

Still, this line of conversation is NOT a recommendation. So, here are some rules of the road:

1. While books can change lives, no one book changes every one's life (least of all, The Secret). Don't be angry when your favorite book gets a review of, "Meh...."
2. Focus on matching interests with readers. I adored Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, but I would never recommend it too any of my students or to anyone I know living in a high rise in the middle of Boston. People living in a New England urban environment aren't going to appreciate a book about living off the land in Kentucky. While they might enjoy it, it could very well leave them feeling at a loss about how to improve their diet. Simply put, New Englanders in apartment buildings can't turn their homesteads into a farm, so why suggest they are inadequate when there's not much they can do to change things? Instead of recommending the book, I decided I wanted to see if organic food really did make people feel better. I invited people in the area to come with me on different weekends to go to a local farmer's market. The message was there, and we found some yummy stuff. No need to drag books into it.
3. Avoid books on spirituality, money, or self-help. It's just preachy. People's emotional and spiritual health is their business -- the section is called SELF-HELP for a reason. Everyone knows where the section is in Barnes and Noble -- they'll go there (probably without you) if they want to improve themselves. That doesn't mean that any book on the topic is taboo. It's , again, about sharing enjoyment rather than dogma. I have two recent reads that might better illustrate. I adored Crazy for God: How I Grew Up as one of the Elect, Helped Found the Religious Right, and Lived to Take All (or almost all) of it Back and The Other Preacher in Lynchburg: My Life Across Town from Jerry Falwell. Hailing from the Deep South, it should come as no surprise that I know a lot of people who consider themselves highly religious people. For most of them, I would recommend neither book. For those who really love reading about religion, I would cautiously recommend the second, but not the first even though the first is, in my opinion, the stronger and more impressive book. Why? Because the second is an impression of one man by one man and is written with several disclaimers. The first, while not a hatchet job, is far more antagonistic towards the religious right. I believe the author of Crazy for God is right, but I don't like proselytizers, and I don't aim to be one.
4. Don't recommend a book on a subject that the recommendee is an expert on. Instead, recommend a book that offers a unique perspective on the subject. I don't recommend how-to gardening books to my Dad who is a much better gardener than I. I read the novice books and ask his advice, but I don't recommend he read them -- he'd be bored senseless. Instead, I recommended The $64 Tomato: How One Man Nearly Lost His Sanity, Spent a Fortune, and Endured an Existential Crisis in the Quest for the Perfect Garden. I also recommend fiction where the main character is a gardener.
5. Don't be put out when the book you recommend sits on a shelf for a long time. It doesn't mean the person you gave it to disregards your opinion. Let them have it forever, if they need it. This isn't a race. I've fallen into books on my first attempt at reading them, and others on my seventh attempt. Sometimes, you just aren't in the mood for a particular book. Better to wait until you know you can love it the way it needs to be loved. Books will wait for you to need them. It usually takes me a few false starts and stops to get into a Tom Robbins novel. He writes slow, though, so maybe that's a good thing. I bet I started Skinny Legs and All a half dozen times. Sixth time was the charm, and now it's part of my soul. It would not have been if I'd forced myself through it on my first attempt.
6. Understand your weirdness. There are authors I love who I love in the closet. No one else would understand. There are many that I prize who I only recommend to die hard readers with the disclaimer that it takes a while. I'm a fantasy novel junkie. I devour Anne Bishop, Patricia Briggs, and others even when they aren't doing their best work. The Manda is the reading-est friend I have, and I have never recommended a one of these to her. Why? Because her weirdness just doesn't cover orcs and dragons and magical magical lands that I find enthralling. If you love books, you can love them without corroboration. She doesn't ask me to delve into The Economist, and I keep my trolls and dryads to myself.
7. Know that books are about more than content. You also need to pay attention to style and length. My partner in crime is wicked smart, but an 800 page book would turn him off. It isn't that he couldn't make it through and enjoy it. Call it fear of commitment. He wants something he can finish in a set period of time, and he doesn't want to develop back problems from lugging it around.
8. Don't try to "expand" someone's repertoire, unless they ask you to. If they like fiction, they don't need The Empathy Gap: Building Bridges to the Good Life and Good Society. If they like Nora Roberts-esque happy endings, don't give them Anita Blake novels. You aren't their teacher; you're their friend. Come to think of it, I AM a teacher, and I try to avoid it when I can.
9. Be careful with "funny" books. Try to match senses of humor between reader and the read. Christopher Moore makes both me and The Manda pee a little bit. I love Christopher Moore too much to recommend him and then hear, "Meh...," so I only recommend him sporadically.
10. Recommend an author's second best book, if you are matching author to reader. That way, if your recomendee likes it, the rest of the reading won't be a freefall into lesser works. It's a simple formula -- second best, best, and then you have them hooked and they will tolerate earlier or not quite on the mark books. So, if you want to try Christopher Moore, start with Fluke, Practical Demonkeeping, or Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story and ease into Lamb:The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal. You won't be disappointed.
11. Don't recommend blockbusters. They have enough PR. Look into the corners for undiscovered gems. Plus, lots of blockbuster novels suck.
12. Don't recommend books on reading. There are a lot of good ones out there, but it's kind of redundant.
13. Know when to break the rules, as I will at the end of this blog post.

So, the Golden Rule is that the only people who should recommend books are those who love their friends and books and want to get them together. Your job is not to improve someone but to give them a few hours of pleasure in reading something. While I do believe in the power of books to change lives, it's been my experience that the books that change a person's life are usually stumbled upon rather than recommended by others. Most people aren't looking for their lives to change. Most people just want a pleasant way to spend the occasional free afternoon or ten minutes between getting into bed and the REM cycle.

That said, I do have some that I recommend without hesitation. These are guaranteed NOT to change your life or make you feel like you ought to be climbing Everest or achieving world peace singlehandedly. Here's my list of time wasters that won't waste your time:

• Mystery -- Naked in Death by JD Robb. Futuristic/ female cop mystery series. There are about 30 books in the series. If you like this one, you'll finish the series before you hang your Christmas lights.
• Sci-Fi/ Fantasy -- Daughter of the Blood by Anne Bishop. Fantasy. Hands down the most intricate and imaginative world I've ever encountered. 6-7 books in the series. A disclaimer: there's a lot of disturbing images in the first book. All I can offer you is that there's a Roald-Dahl-esque justice by the end of the series. First one is hard to read, but everything comes up roses by the end of the third, except the stuff that doesn't, you know.
• Children's -- Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by JK Rowling. There's a reason it's a blockbuster and a new classic. Sometimes the masses do speak volumes.
• Non-fiction, recent -- The Lonely American: Drifting Apart in the 21 st century by Jacqueline Olds and Richard S. Scwartz. I liked it. It tried to explain some of the things I find discouraging about the world.

Now, what do you have for me?